What I learned from 37 Years of Mistakes: 9 Ideas for Toddler Parents
Mother Nature is no dummy; she makes babies cute-n-cuddly for a reason—so you won’t mind slaving to someone else’s whim every moment of your life for the next twenty years. From the time your baby comes home until he or she goes to kindergarten, MN is training you for your role as a parent.
Many families struggle to remain nuclear in the early going because the work load grows on a daily basis. Often, one or more parents will want out of the deal*. But I’m going to focus this post on those who checked off as many steps in part II as humanly possible before the arrival of their firstborn.
I was not involved in my first daughter’s earliest years. Our first meeting was when she was three and toddlerdom was drawing to a close (if you’re just joining us, start at the beginning) but I still managed to figure a few things out.
From birth to Kindergarten is the best time for parents. It’s easy. The kids don’t talk back, they don’t light cans of gasoline on fire, they don’t steal your car at 3AM, and they’re very accepting of any situation you drag them through.
The most common mistake parent’s make is not leaving their youth behind. I was nineteen 
when Nicole adopted me, guess how I did? Let’s just say, Mistakes were made.
Who you are when you raise a toddler is important. Children begin to imprint at a much earlier age than first imagined. They absorb your behavior, your patterns, and your methods for conflict resolution. Your interactions with strangers in stores or on the road, your interactions with your parents, your behavior in public, everything you do, will either come back to haunt you or make you smile. So do yourself a favor:
Grow up.
The biggest lessons I learned for the earliest years were:
1) Build the boring routines you are going to live with for the next twenty plus years. Learn to like them.
2) Hold your children, carry them, cuddle with them—they’ll push away soon enough so soak it up while you can.
3) Have a family dinner without distractions: no music, no TV, no cell phones, no email, and use the time to talk to your children. Toddlers might not know what they’re talking about, but they will develop a sense of civil that will become critical in the teenage years. Treat those dinners as sacred time every day.
4) Read to your children. Nothing bonds a family like having them lie on top while you read stories. Books at bedtime are my kids’ favorite memories.
5) Give in to your spouse even when he/she is dead wrong. Being the parent who’s right isn’t as important as being united. (See step 6.)
6) Stay active. Obesity is an epidemic easily cured. Your children are imprinting your activities and eating habits. If you want healthy kids, live the lifestyle. Hike, bike, go outside every day.
7) Take videos in the quiet times. Interview your child one on one, leave the camera running at dinner time, video them playing alone. Be sure the TV is off and the toys are put away. Birthday parties and special events are noisy and don’t leave you with a record of the child as an individual.
8) Sleep. Tired kids are grumpy and difficult. Make sure there are no iPads, TVs, computers, phones, Google glasses, etc in your child’s bedroom.
9) Get involved in a charity that directly helps other people. Your children are imprinting your behavior in ways that will stay with them the rest of their lives. If you fail at anything or everything else, this one will help more than the rest combined.
The best parenting advice I’ve been given came from a janitor at my engagement party. He said, “Remember, if everything goes right, the kids will leave you and the wife won’t.”
Peace, Seeley
* If I were King, I’d declare a ‘baby awareness week’ where all kids between 12 and 18 have to carry a doll for one week every year. Anyone over the age of 18 would scold the youngsters for any lapses in ‘parenting’. Do you think the rates of unplanned pregnancies and emotionally abandoned children would drop?
